The Divorce..

If you have read my previous posts then by now you have realized that I am going through a messy divorce with entrepreneurism. She took the house, the kids, the dog and left me a huge amount of debt. What a bitch… as with all my ex’s I sometimes can’t help but stalk her on social media. What she up to? When I see a picture of her happy and with another man I get jealous at first, but then I just think “poor bastard, she’s gonna take you for every penny you have..”

As with all difficult break-ups, its time for some introspectrum. What did I do wrong? Lets dissect what an entrepreneur does.. If you had to interview for a position as an entrepreneur, the ‘BASIC Requirements’ section would look something like this;

Accounting

  • have strong excel skills
  • Understand Quickbooks
  • Have previously created invoices
  • Understand how to calculate Provincial/ state / Federal trade taxes and know how and when to remit them
  • Fully comprehend Cash flow, know how to build, analyze and monitor spread sheets
  • How to produce and interpret a balance sheet
  • How to produce and interpret a profit & Loss statement
  • Understanding of at source deductions
  • Previously produced T4’S and T5’S
  • Have complete accurate knowledge of overheads and costs at all times

Investment

  • Understand ROI
  • Ability to write a business plan
  • Understand and communicate profit projection
  • Knowledge of burn rates,1st and 2nd round investments.
  • Knowledge of how Shares are issued.

Marketing

  • Previously built a website
  • Knowledge of SEO & Keywords
  • Complete knowledge of all social media platforms
  • Knowledge of Google Adwords
  • Have used YouTubes creator suite
  • How to generate new leads from free followers you have obtained
  • How to build a blog and gain followers by writing quality content.

Sales

  • Must have incredible people skills
  • Have thorough understanding of the service/ product provided and the ability to communicate the uniqueness to the client.
  • Maintain immaculate customer relations through effective communication between client and management.

Management & Customer service

  • Have previously built and maintained strong relationships with sub contractors. Candidate must be able to schedule and communicate with them effectively
  • Strong team leader. Candidate must be able to lead a team of people. He/she must be able to communicate the company morals and ideals effectively
  • Ability to direct a team and keep them working effectively
  • Provide a team spirit environment
  • Seek out new opportunities to stream line production and find ways to minimize costs.
  • Ability to seek out and retain and motivate new talented employees
  • Ability to navigate and successfully solve client/ staff/ supplier/ complaints and concerns
  • Seek out opportunities for team training and innovation.

Licensing

  • Previously taken all examinations required by law to perform duties
  • Knowledge of all licencing requirements and when their renewals are due.

Law

  • Candidate must understand the benefits and downsides of Incorporation, He/She must know how, when and where to register for incorporation and have the ability to fill out all required paperwork. Must understand what a shareholder is and how to issue shares. Candidate must know how/ whether or not dividends should be issued. Candidate must understand and have previously completed a minute book.
  • Candidate must understand the benefits and downsides of a Partnership. He/She must know how, when and where to register for partnership and have the ability to fill out all required paperwork. Must have previously written a partnership agreement.
  • Knowledge of demand letters, When and why they would be issued.
  • Candidate must keep immaculate records of all communications
  • Must understand the workings of small claims courts and have proven     results defending themselves.
  • Must understand the workings of superior courts. Have previous experience in depositions.

Logistics

  • Candidate must have built strong relationships with suppliers.
  • Ability to search out and negotiate best prices.
  • Strong communication and planning skills.

 

Ok so, how many of you think you would get this job? Better question.. how many of you would want this job?? You see, you don’t know what you don’t know.. and if you don’t know the ‘BASIC requirements’ above, then you better learn these skills pronto, as each day passes by you will probably be loosing more and more money with no idea why. (Just an FYI, this is not all you need to know, oh ya.. you must also be a fucking Jedi in your chosen field or no one will hire you anyway and It’ll become, as our friend Joe from Friends would say “A moo point”) Anyone who thinks they are capable of all of this is full of shit.IMG_2532

“So basically you need to be an ÜberMan… or woman 🙂 to be successful in business is what your saying?”

Kind of.. yes. First time entrepreneurs learn ‘some ‘of this on their first attempt.. then a little more on their second.. You know what they say..”Third times a charm!!” This is my FIFTH..… fuck off!! I TOLD YOU, I got a ‘D’ in maths.. THIS IS WHY BUSINESSES FAIL.

Each time I do this, I learn more and more, like a drug addict ‘That next big idea’ is all it will take to send me into a full blown remission. I think the odds are in my favour now surely..

In my next post I will share with you ‘from experience’ why you need to have all these skills in your arsenal.

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